Randy's Travel Tips: The People You Meet, p. 1

The People You Meet

Randy's Travel Tips

Copyright © 1992-2008 Randy R. Johnson, all rights reserved.
Photo (author): Travelers in Madian, Swat Valley, Pakistan

People - Table of Contents

Local People Guides and Helpers Yourself Other Travelers Making Yourself Understood Friends and Travelers Traveling Alone Travel Partners Partners From Home Emotional Conflicts Traveling With Children Lovers And Others Other Foreigners Expatriates Making Local Connections

Footloose and Fancy-Free Table of Contents

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Who are All These People Anyway?

People! That's what a living culture is all about. You can peruse artifacts in a museum, and study books on history, but the dynamics of a culture that you can never thoroughly appreciate at home are the everyday lives of the people. On the Road you will meet, get to know, and live among many local people who reflect their unique cultures. You will also meet locals whose only business is dealing with tourists. The fellow travelers you share your experiences with will add another important dimension to your travel life. You will meet warm wonderful people, exasperatingly bothersome people, and pathetically poor people; many of them will be amazing people like no one you have ever met at home! If you are not inclined to go out and meet new people, travel is a great time to develop that skill.

Local People

You will spend a great deal of time visiting fascinating temples, historical sites, villages, and natural wonders on your travels. This is the stuff that great photo albums and slide shows are made of. But also take the opportunity -- and the initiative -- to interact with local people in their own environments; it's the best inter-cultural experience you can have, anywhere! That's part of what you came for, isn't it?

A few countries still remain relatively innocent of the tourism boom -- or at least are not carried away with it -- and you may be left alone in a culture that exists for its own sake. Occasionally you will drop into an amazing cultural milieu where you are surrounded by strange new people in colorful dress, carrying on lives right out of adventure films or ancient literature; bustling bazaars and villages where life appears to have stood still for a hundred years. Other environments will seem much more familiar to you, although the underlying cultures will certainly be different. If you arrive in a country where there is no one trying to get your business, congratulations! You have found an anachronistic country free of tourist hustle!

In countries where tourism is well developed, many people make their living on tourist business. They will be the first people you meet, and they may come running up to you on the street; sometimes they will practically climb all over you. They can be very helpful and friendly, or a nuisance at times, but do not be fooled -- these are not often the 'typical' people you have come to meet. Some are just curious, but usually they have some product or service to offer you. Some just have a sad story and ask for money.

Others are professional thieves and con artists. In such well-touristed areas you will have to make an effort to seek out 'unspoiled' local environments. They are always there, but sometimes everyone you meet is trying to lead you away from them and into their own shops and resort areas. Resist! 'Unspoiled' doesn't necessarily mean an isolated village, it could be any town that is off the regular tourist routes, or even a part of town only a few blocks from the tourist center. There, you may have to introduce yourself to the ordinary people because they will not come running up to you.

Ordinary People

By "ordinary", I just mean the people who do not make it a part of their business to do business with tourists and travelers like you. The people that you take the effort to go out and meet will, in general, be more genuine than those who approach you just because you are a 'tourist'. Ordinary people surround you every day on the bus, in the shops and markets, or working in their fields. Some will be eager to talk, but others may ignore you completely. Often this is because they are afraid of language problems, or they just don't know how to deal with foreigners. Perhaps they have seen too many foreign tourists who seemed rude or insensitive.

There will be days when you just want to be left alone, but if you don't take some initiative to make a few contacts yourself, you will end up meeting only the people who search you out because you are a tourist. It doesn't have to a be a conversation, you can just smile and show how hot you're feeling, or admire a big melon they've purchased -- the same kind of casual "small talk" you would make to strangers at home, except that it can involve more sign language than talk. The best sign you can use is a big smile; it is accepted everywhere and is more valuable than the American Express card. You may not get a friendly response every time, but give it a try. Even casual contacts like these are not only good for your morale, but they go a long way in intercultural relations. Pave the way for future travelers by showing the locals that we are ordinary people too.

The more rural the area, the more common it is for strangers to greet each other, even passing on the street. Guatemalan farmers who don't even speak Spanish will greet strangers on the path with "Adios". Often everyone is greeted as they enter a shop, but the foreigner may be ignored. This is not out of rudeness, but for fear of misunderstandings; they just don't know how to treat you. If you offer them the normal greeting -- just an informal "konnichi wa", "an yung", "buenas", "salaam alaikum", "selamat", "habari", "sawatdii", or "g'day" -- they can now feel freer to treat you as a real person, even if you turn out to have a very limited vocabulary. You have taken the first step to enter into their world of normal social interactions.

Get to know the people who work in your hotel or favorite cafe, and talk to people in the shops and street stalls you frequent daily. These are generally honest, hard-working people, who will not come up and start talking to you on their own. One of the advantages of staying more than two or three days in one place is that you can build up a rapport with the local people. Find friendly places to shop and eat, and go there every day; when they get used to having you around, you become a real person. Show some interest in their lives, not just in getting information. Language is a barrier, but you can elicit some genuinely friendly smiles with a few guidebook phrases and some earnest sign language.

It is not too much effort to learn the standard greeting phrases in the local language of the countries you visit. When you approach someone with the proper greetings, you are not only showing common respect, but perhaps surprising them with your interest in learning their language. A few stammered words can go a very long way in opening up friendly relations, and any linguistic efforts you make will be greatly repaid.

Drop into 'local' cafes and tea shops sometimes, instead of depending on travelers' hangouts. Share a table with some local people instead of waiting for a tout to come and sit next to you. Stop and talk with the people you come across on your walks in town and the countryside. Sure, they don't speak your language, but they understand when you admire their children, their house, their crops, or cattle. Let them know what you like about their country and about their own simple lives. Carry some photos of your family and show them that you are a real person.

The level to which ordinary people will accept you into their conversations is affected by how 'strange' you look and dress. Every traveler has his or her own style of traveling dress and behavior, but if you are really interested in getting to know the common people, you should try to meet them at least half way. I have been surprised by the number of times that local people and travelers have asked me if I were living in the country. Sometimes I had only just arrived, but I was sitting unhurriedly in a local cafe, wearing my nondescript traveling clothes. I seemed to be 'at home', as in fact I have come to feel in many Third World countries.

The hallmark of tourists is that they are constantly on the move, seeing this sight (check), taking that photo (check), and then moving on to the next. But as a footloose and fancy-free traveler, you have the freedom to linger and absorb the atmosphere. This applies not only to staying in one town for awhile, but also while you are exploring that town. When you find a spot you really like -- a public square, a temple courtyard, a bazaar, even a bustling station -- don't just take your photo and run off. Sightseeing or not, find a quiet place to stop and enjoy the ambiance for awhile. People-watching is one of the great pastimes of traveling, and is best done from a stationary vantage point. You don't actually have to meet people to learn a lot about them in this way. You can always do more sightseeing tomorrow.

In cities that are overrun with touts, I feel like I have to keep moving to avoid them, but in other places I love to 'just hang out' in public areas, sitting at a street-side stall or just leaning against a wall, watching life unfold around me. After a while, I've become a part of the scene, not just a spectator. I used to go to the fascinating market in San Cristobal Las Casas, Mexico every morning for breakfast. I sat at the same stall and sometimes lingered over a meal all morning, just watching all the colorful people and their animated transactions. You will never see this kind of activity listed on a tourist's itinerary, but you can put it on yours any time you like!

Home Visits

An invitation into a private home can be a wonderful experience, especially after spending months seeing nothing but the inside of dingy hotel rooms. It reminds you that millions of people are leading their own personal lives, far from the milieu of your traveler's existence. You will learn much more about people than you could ever see on the streets. In many areas, life is a struggle that forces people to be cautious and callous in their dealings with society; in others, social customs prevent them from showing emotions in public. But in the security of their own homes, people can relax and show the warmth and kindness that they may reserve for their family life.

There are two cautions about accepting invitations to people's homes. First, there are a few cities (Manila!) where it may be just part of a confidence game to take advantage of you. Learn about these dangers from other travelers before accepting invitations, especially in cities. If you have serious doubts about the safety of accepting an invitation, refuse politely, and keep refusing. Don't put yourself in danger to avoid being rude.

Second, when taking a foreign guest into their home, many ordinary people will go to unusual trouble and expense to entertain you in a manner that they think you expect. They may spend a week's budget putting on a meal for you! It can be at least embarrassing, and may leave you greatly in their social debt. The first step is to make sure that they are really making an offer they can afford to fulfill. In many cultures it is only polite to make offers of hospitality, and just as polite to refuse several times, especially if the offer is too great. Smile and say it would be too much trouble for them. If people are really serious, they will insist and specify a time and day; if you accept too readily, you may put them in an unexpected bind.

As an alternative, suggest coming by for tea in the afternoon. They may still put on a spread of food, but they won't feel obligated to do so. It also gives you an excuse to leave 'for dinner with friends' if you don't feel like staying all evening. I once accepted an impromptu dinner invitation from a man at a Turkish tourist office. He brought me back to his simple apartment unannounced, to meet his wife and children. I shared the family's dinner, which was served on the floor and eaten communally (we even shared one glass to drink water). The food was simple and delicious. They had gone to no special expense, but their warm personal hospitality was lavish in contrast to my return to a stark hotel room.

Asking Directions

Yes, of course, ask directions whenever you need help. But try to observe this rule: Ask the person most likely to know the right information. It never hurts to ask, right? Famous last words! Once someone has told you where to go ("Here, quick, get on this bus!"), you are obliged to go there, even if you aren't sure they are right. Look around for the most likely person. Do you know the cheapest hotels in your home town? Probably not. So ask travelers -- they know! Don't ask a taxi driver about buses (people do it!), or a beggar about restaurants.

No one ever says "I don't know." Instead, they make something up, even if they didn't understand your question. Don't ask questions that assume the right answer -- "is this the bus to Anywhere?" If you don't know how to ask "Where does this bus go?", just learn to say "Where?" If there is a long pause after your question, don't put too much faith in the answer. Many people look at a map the way you look at a computer program, it means nothing to them. Keep asking along the way.

Beggars and Others

You may witness many very poor people on your travels. Some of them will be standing (or living!) out in the streets, begging for alms. Whether or not you give them something is a matter of personal choice, and I won't go into all the arguments, pro and con. But I will ask you to try and discriminate between truly needy people, and those who only ask money from foreigners because we are notoriously easy marks.

Real beggars are always there, and they will continue to be there, whether or not you give them something. In India, where begging is a profession, those who can afford to, travel to tourist areas far from home, where business is much better. In other well-traveled places, local opportunists just approach tourists as an easy way to make extra money.

Many of these pseudo-beggars are children, to whom begging from tourists is a game. They may be playing happily until a foreigner is spotted; then they approach with sad eyes and outstretched hands. Personally, I feel that giving them anything only encourages this kind of behavior, making it worse for all the travelers who come after you. I am too often disappointed to wander into a small village and have the local children run out shouting "Hello-one-rupee!" They are learning that tourists are things that give you something for nothing -- if they don't offer, you just have to ask. This is not what I call an intercultural exchange.

I was walking in the Egyptian countryside one day (yes, visiting old ruins), occasionally accosted by children who begged for money, pens, or anything else I had. I came to a crossroads where several local farmers were waiting for a ride. They were quiet but friendly, and indicated to me that a bus for town would be passing soon. As we waited, several children hung back, quiet and respectful. After ten minutes, all the men jumped on a truck heading in the opposite direction. No sooner did they depart, than the children grabbed and shouted at me to give them something. The situation was clear: if their proud fathers had seen them carrying on this rude and shameful business, they would certainly have been punished!

Begging is something children learn from tourists; it is still a shameful activity for the majority of poor but hardworking people in the Third World. If you must give something, give pens and notebooks bought locally; some poor children in rural areas need these to continue with school, but it would be much better if you can donate them to the local school teacher.

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